I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
i found two dead squirrels on my front step this morning.. do you think they have something to do with my missing phone?
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
