I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
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