He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
zippers are such a cool invention
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
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