Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
Randomize