I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
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