i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
Randomize
