He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
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