genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
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