So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
Randomize
