so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
Randomize
