This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
Randomize
