now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
Randomize
