I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
Randomize
