Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Randomize
