I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
Randomize
