I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
Randomize
