I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
Randomize
