Don't you send me to vm
Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
Randomize
