please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
This girl is more easily done than said...
It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
Randomize
