Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
Randomize
