You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
Randomize
