so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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