We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
