We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
