It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
I just totok an inventory of my purse: 1 apple, 1 pair of underwear, 7 condoms, $18 in ones, a check with "for sexual healing" in the subject line, and a 4 oz bottle of wine.
Oh! and a letter from a judge saying I got an interview. Cause that balances it out.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
You brought string cheese to the strip club
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
Randomize
