with your own penis?
Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
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