Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
