I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
Randomize
