i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
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