its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
Little spoons don't ask big questions
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
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