The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
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