Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
Randomize
