he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
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