ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
areolas are like halos for boobs.
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
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