if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
wat bout pragnant strippers??
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
Randomize
