glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
You had me at "let me see your balls"
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
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