At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
Randomize
