hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
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