I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
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