I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
Randomize