Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
Randomize
