Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
Those nachos came to me in a dream
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
Randomize
