Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
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