ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
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