So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
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