You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
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