Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
I think I'm pregnant with his hipster baby. It keeps kicking my stomach to the beat of mgmt songs.
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
Randomize
