Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
Randomize
