So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
Randomize
