She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.