Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
I tried to pay my bar tab with my gym membership card. Twice.
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.