bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
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