and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
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