Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
Randomize
