she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
Randomize
