I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
Randomize
