sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
It was my first time buying condoms at the liquor store... I was nervous and there were quite a few people, so I tried to do it as quickly and quietly as possible. When I got to the Indian cashier, he took one look at them and said loudly, "Ohhh you gonna get it on tonight, ah?!"
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
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