Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
I never want to see another naked old woman again.
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
did i walk over a car last night?
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
Randomize
