Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
Randomize
