Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
Randomize
