Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
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