Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
Randomize
