Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
Randomize
