I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
This is the high leading the old right now
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
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