ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
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