VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
Randomize
