so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
I am such a fucking liability at weddings. I ended up making out with this married 40-year-old that told me that basically if I came home with him and be a sex partner for him and his wife, I would never have to pay for anything again. Extremely considered it.
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
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