There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
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