i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
My balls are so social today.
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
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