Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
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