You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize