I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
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