Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
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