She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
Randomize
